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Yes, These Bizarre Beauty Laws Are Actually Real

By Amber Katz / January 9, 2014

We may say French pedicures are a crime against humanity, but we’re not actually going to do a citizen’s arrest when we see one (tempting as it may be). But did you know that there are many ridiculous laws pertaining to beauty in small towns that actually got passed decades ago, but are still valid? Here, a roundup of some of the most entertaining laws regarding hair, makeup and nails. We can only imagine the events that precipitating this legislation. 
 
It’s illegal to get your lashes or brows tinted in Massachusetts… but all you have to do is cross the border into New Hampshire, where it’s totally kosher. 
 
In Mohave County, Arizona, if anyone is caught stealing soap, he must wash himself with it until the soap is gone. Call it cleaning up one’s act, literally and figuratively.
 
In Michigan, a woman’s hair belongs to her husband. Good thing Michigan native and hair chameleon Madonna moved away before celebrating her nuptials. 
 
In an attempt to lower the divorce rate, Oklahoma representative Linda Larsen proposed a law that would require the following before a marriage license would be issued: “neither party should snore, at least one meal a week should be prepared by the non-primary cook, toothpaste should be squeezed from the bottom of the tube, pantyhose shouldn’t be left hanging in the shower, and the toilet seat should always be down when not being used." I mean, what’s left to fight about? 
 
According to a ridiculous Florida law, anyone who takes a bath must wear clothes. Did whoever came up with that work for Miele?
 
In Eureka, Nevada, it’s against the law for men who have mustaches to kiss women. Here’s to hoping Alex Trebek never makes that trek.
 
According to an Atlanta, Georgia ordinance, “smelly people” are not allowed to ride public streetcars. If only that were a law in New York City. We were standing directly in someone’s armpit just this morning.
 
In Lander, Wyoming, it is illegal for adults to take a bath more than once a month once the cold weather arrives. Children cannot take a bath at all during the winter. Mr. Bubble is quite unwelcome in this town.
 
In Virginia, it’s illegal to have a window in a salon bathroom without a screen. Not sure if it’s to ensure no one escapes without paying their bill or if it’s for ventilation. 
 
In Pensacola, Florida, a woman can be fined (only after death) for being electrocuted in a bathtub while using self-beautification utensils. That check’s in the mail.
 
In Mobile, Alabama, it is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits. Stop looking so good, Alabama ladies! What do the construction workers do with all their free time?
 
It’s against the law to fall asleep in salons in Florida. Maybe take the owner up on that coffee just in case.
 
It’s illegal for owners of flamingos to let their pets into barber shops in Juneau, Alaska. But can you take your stingray for a Thai massage? Also--there are flamingos in Alaska? 
 
In Waterloo, Nebraska, it was illegal in 1910 for barbers to eat onions during working hours. Here’s to hoping we can police our own halitosis in the rest of the country.
 
It is illegal to shave in the center of Main Street in Tylertown, Mississippi. We know, you were dying to test your Gillette Fusion ProGlide en mass and now you’ll have to make it a solo mission.
 

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